Lenny Nero : Are we still friends?
Mace : I don't know Lenny. You see, friendship is more than one person constantly doing favors for another.
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Strickland : You're a disappointment, Nero. But you know what disappoints me more?
Lenny Nero : Your sex life?
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Max : Only he doesn't know about me and Faith. So I say to myself, if I turn the job down, he just gets somebody else. And I lose Faith... to coin a phrase. So to buy time, I do the skank. I still gotta do something about Tran... I figure it's him or me... but I can't cap him without a chump to take the fall. And who better than his girlfriend's loser ex-boyfriend... a known criminal... who has been seen hassling them in public numerous times.
Lenny Nero : And who was, regrettably, also your best fucking friend.
Max : No plan is perfect, Lenny. Hey, cheer up. World's gonna end in ten minutes anyway.
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Lenny Nero : See... I can get you what you want, I can. I can get you anything, you just have to talk to me, you have to trust me. You can trust me, 'cause I'm your priest, I'm your shrink... I am your main connection to the switchboard of the soul. I'm the magic man... Santa Claus of the subconscious. You say it, you think it, you can have it.
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Lenny : His ass is so tight, when he farts only dogs can hear it.

Mace : I can't believe you had to give them the damn tape.
Lenny Nero : Yeah I know. It was one of my favorites: me and Faith in the hot tub on my birthday.
[Lenny takes the actual tape out of his jacket] 
Lenny Nero : Are we impressed yet?
Mace : Yeah... pretty impressed.
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Lenny : Have you ever been in love with someone who didn't return that love?
Mace : Yeah, Lenny, I have.
Lenny : It didn't stop you from loving them, right? Or being able to understand them or forgive them?
Mace : I guess.
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Lenny Nero : Look... everyone needs to take a walk to the dark end of the street sometimes, it's what we are.
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Lenny Nero : [to a SQUID-recording-newbie]  I can use this, it's not bad, but, listen honey, you've got to move your eyes slower next time, much much slower. Like... like you're making love with your eyes, ok?
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Mace : You're some piece of work, Lenny Nero. You're just calmly backstroking along in the big toilet bowl and somehow you never let it touch you. I mean, between working vice and your current so-called occupation, you must have seen every kind of perversion. But you're just like... some teflon man, you still come out this goofball romantic.
Lenny Nero : It's my sword and my shield, Mace.
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Lenny : When I met Faith, she was just another runaway, giving twenty dollar blowjobs to buy crack. Just another lost soul. But she had this voice... it was scary, like she could take all the hurt and rage of the entire world and lift it up to Heaven in one voice. I helped her. And I promised her I'd always just be there, to protect her. See, it's not about what's in her head, it's what's in mine. I can't let go of the promise. It's like it's all I have left.
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Lenny : I didn't know you were color blind, Max.
Max : It was the only way I could stand your ties.
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Lenny Nero : This is not like "TV-only-better"... this is life.

Lenny : I am the magic man. I am your link to the subconscious. I have what you want. I can get you what you can't have.
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Lenny Nero : Right now his frontal lobes are like two runny eggs.

Lenny Nero : [while immersed in a virtual reality session] 
[smiles] 
Lenny Nero : Oooh... a little B&E action.
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Lenny Nero : [car has been riddled with bullets; antagonists are about to incinerate the vehicle] 
[with cell phone in hand] 
Lenny Nero : 911 is busy!
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Palmer Strickland : Nero.
Lenny Nero : Strickland.
Palmer Strickland : Commissioner Strickland!
Lenny Nero : See, since you shit-canned my career, I don't even have to call you sir. One of life's small pleasures.
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Lenny Nero : This tie cost more than your entire wardrobe... it's the one thing that stands between me and the jungle.
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Lenny Nero : Two million years of human evolution and that's the best idea you can come up with.

Lenny Nero : Bullet-resistant? What ever happened to bullet-proof?

Lenny Nero : This is what we laughingly refer to as a plan, right?

[first lines] 
Tick : - you ready?
Lenny Nero : Yeah, boot it.

[last lines] 
Mace : Hey, Lenny, we made it!
Lenny Nero : Yea, we did.
Mace : You should get going.
Lenny Nero : Yea, see you downtown.
Mace : See you there.
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Lenny Nero : [ing the exact word Iris used]  She said "THEY" - "If They get me" - "THEY". Which means this whole, like, random sex-killer thing is bullshit, which means somebody whacked her for a reason
Mace : So this guy's not a Psycho?
Lenny Nero : No, Macy, he's a psycho. To do what's on that tape?... He's not a well-adjusted human being
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Mace : Lenny, would you relax? We're not being followed. Stop being so paranoid
Lenny Nero : The guy had a knife, to my throat, in my Living room. Relaxing might be right out, OK?
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